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【英文作文】Are You Innocent?

作者:Nil*夜*はじめ│2011-06-20 16:09:23│巴幣:4│人氣:430
嗨!各位!我的英文作文又來了
咦?怎麼不是跟「電腦失寫症」有關?
因為那篇作文雖然寫完,可是還沒補上調查結果,所以請客官們再等一下
至於這篇是以「辯論(Argumentation)」為主題,所以語氣上應該都很強硬,請慎讀此篇
阿哩,寫得好短
沒辦法,要期末了,得在結束前交出去吧
原本想寫為何大家喜歡看動漫的「辯論(Argumentation)」,可是因為要收集很多資料、寫繁雜的問卷,加上我的時間管理能力不好,所以改辯論「純真」
寫「純真」的契機剛好遇到一些難受的事,且跟T大聊何謂「純真」
多虧一個月前的經歷,讓我能寫出這篇文章


歡迎各位客官評文,各方面都很,無論是文法、用字,想辯論也可以

中文翻譯
 

Are You Innocent?
 
        I once read a friend’s blog and realized that most people believe they will lose their innocence after growing up. Perhaps destiny gives humans several steps to follow: Firstly, the more dark side children see, the more disappointed to the world they become. Secondly, schools are also a kind of small society. Kids can generally experience how cruel the reality is. The last but not at least, the jungle law society will sustain the youth’s purity little by little and train them as the most competitive and vicious creatures in the world! Sounds sorrowful, doesn’t it? Therefore, more and more people are eager for the innocent period of time—the time that more peaceful as well as simpler than now. Additionally, some people are likely to stop growing up and live as innocent carefree kids forever; then they won’t be stained by the adult world.
 
        However, as far as I’m concerned, people seem to forget the original definition of innocence. According to Google dictionary, innocence means lack of knowledge and experience of the world, especially of evil or unpleasant things. In other words, people eager to become knowing nothing and lose the ability to take care of themselves. I don’t believe anyone loses innocence and anything can pollute it. In my definition, innocence is like a new-born who has to face and solve every difficulty to live through. Thus, this inexperienced creature starts to learn how to survive in any environment. During enriching itself, innocence starts to become more experienced and more mature than before. Finally, innocence evolves into a warrior who can endure any frustration that destiny gives.
 
        Then, let’s talk about the process mentioned in the first paragraph. Is it really true that all human beings follow this process in their life? The answer is obviously “NO”! Our society gives us too much negative information describing people’s dark side. It rarely teaches us how to stand up and overcome every challenge from destiny, especially television news broadcast in Taiwanese. Hence, I suggest Taiwanese people stop watching those news and surf the Internet to read world news. It’s common to say that children are the most innocent among human beings. They live happily and carefreely. However, this idea often spreads between people living under convenient and comfortable environment.
 
        If you are one of them, let me ask you several questions: How many kids lose their home during the 311 earthquake? What happen to those children who lost their parents during Iraq War? Where is the future for teenagers surviving in civil wars in Africa? Do they remain innocence after suffering from such unspeakable disasters? Perhaps those kids can’t have high education; they must fight for their life in any kinds of ways, even in the bloodiest ones. Nevertheless, most important of all, they never escape from reality. That is the reason why I certainly believe they must evolve their mind and innocence to accept every challenge invited by destiny. They are warriors!
 
        To sum up, innocence is never lost in your mind. It might fall asleep when you try to escape from reality. The only way to wake them up and make a warrior out of you!
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留言共 9 篇留言

兔二:滾你奶奶的
  有次閱讀朋友朋友部落格時,我理解到大部分人相信成長必定失去純真,或許命運提供幾種跡象讓人們去證實這種純真失去。

  第一,儘管只是兒童時期的小孩,就能開始看到黑暗面(SITH:DARK SIDE!!!)和絕望面。第二,學校是種小型社會,孩子能約略體驗到真正社會的殘酷和真實。

  最後,無論如何在這世界上存在的社會原始法則,產生出競爭壓力、貪婪邪惡成為了最後幫兇,把年輕人的純真一點一滴被消滅。

  聽起來真悲哀,不是嗎?因此,更多的人渴求遠比現今單純的純真時期。此外,一些人能夠不被成人世界社會化,且永遠活得無憂無慮。



  就算如此,在我思慮關切範圍內,人們似乎忘了純真的最初定義。看了GOOGLE字典,對純真的定義是:「純真是指缺乏世俗的知識和經驗;特別指污穢或令人不快的事物」。換個說法--期望純真的人期待變得無知,且無法自我照料。
  如果真是這種定義,那我相信人們絕對不會失去純真,也沒任何事物可以污染他們。

  所以在我定義的「純真」,是種從無到有、面對與解決困難的過程;如此這般,初心者們開始學習在任何環境下的生存方式。

  在增進自我間,人的純真精神會更成熟且老練。最後,這種純真,足以粹煉成可敵擋命運煩擾的第一勇士。

06-20 23:19

Nil*夜*はじめ
有點難回應,容易被兔子流暢的中文牽著走(苦惱)06-27 13:35
Nil*夜*はじめ
要成英文思考轉成中文有點難~06-27 13:36
Nil*夜*はじめ
翻好了,請拿吧[e1]
http://home.gamer.com.tw/creationDetail.php?sn=136255907-14 15:28
兔二:滾你奶奶的
  接著,來談談先前第一個主題。失去純真真的是人們必經之路?很顯然答案是「不!」。社會給了太多消極訊息積極描繪人性黑暗面,反而很少頌揚如何堅忍且克服命運的挑戰,這種負面傾向在是台灣的傳播媒體上特別明顯。

  因此,我支持台灣人停止閱聽電視上台灣媒體的膚淺新聞,轉而藉由網路關心世界新聞。這能很簡單的讓小孩在大人世界間保持純真、活得開心且快意自然。儘管如此,這點子要實現,必須要在更加舒適和合宜的環境。

  如果妳是關注國際新聞的其中一員,讓我來問問幾個問題吧:

  有多少小孩在311地震失去他們的家園?伊拉客戰爭期間內,小孩和大人是進行著怎樣的顛沛流離?非洲內戰波及到的青少年,他們的未來又在哪?

  這樣的他們遭受了言語不足描述的天災人禍,為何能保持純真?或許那些小孩沒受過高等教育,他們必須為了生存和各式各樣的實體戰爭而戰,即使浴血奮戰也不以為過。

  最重要的,他們從不逃避現實。這點就是為何明確相信他們能健壯心智和懷抱純真接受任何命運的挑戰狀。他們是了不起的鬥士!

  總結,懷抱純真,能讓你不迷失自我。或許純真遇到太大的社會衝擊,也會昏亂;但也只能喚醒純真、結束昏亂,藉此成為一個超越自我的戰士。

06-20 23:19

兔二:滾你奶奶的
嗯...花了點時間翻譯,夜君看看=]

06-20 23:19

Nil*夜*はじめ
有些翻得不是我的意思,但得慢點回覆你,最近正在衝期末考
06-21 07:23
兔二:滾你奶奶的
如果同意的話,我想當做今天網誌,發在我的小屋XD

06-20 23:20

蒼天的藍耀
我晚點再仔細看喔...有點忙...抱歉[e20]

我先指出幾點:
1. Conclusion 太短(真的太短了),"至少"三句。假如說前面分數有B,這結尾會讓你變C ~ C minus。
2. 你有講到台灣新聞霉體很爛,但沒有指出它們爛在哪,請舉例。你不能assume讀者都很熟悉台灣新聞霉體,這樣讀者無法信服你的argument。
3. can't, doesn't 等等,請改成cannot, does not.
4. The last but not at least ? The last but not least 吧。

06-22 10:30

Nil*夜*はじめ
>2. 你有講到台灣新聞霉體很爛,但沒有指出它們爛在哪,請舉例。你不能assume讀者都很熟悉台灣新聞霉體,這樣讀者無法信服你的argument。
好,我試著找出來
>3. can't, doesn't 等等,請改成cannot, does not.
啊!我忘了!謝謝羽君提醒[e12]
>4. The last but not at least ? The last but not least 吧。
喔對,是The last but not least[e17]06-30 02:47
蒼天的藍耀
打錯。雖然三句,但還是太短...整個paragraph很weak(汗)

06-22 10:44

Nil*夜*はじめ
我的致命弱點[e8]
一直打不長06-30 01:15
蒼天的藍耀
I once read a friend’s blog discussing about innocence, and then I realized that most people believe they will lose their innocence after growing up.
原句怪怪的,我稍微修改了一下,不知是否有扭曲您原本意思呢?

First of all, the more dark side children see, they become more disappointed to the world.
您原本的寫法會有點文法錯誤(我認為)

Therefore, nowadays, more people are eager for the innocent period of time—the time that is more peaceful as well as simpler than now. Additionally, some people even wish that they could stop growing up and live as innocent carefree children forever; then they won’t be stained by the ugly adult world.
修改了一些東西...

Google dictionary 我覺得您cite Dictionary.com 應該會比較好...

Our society gives us too much negative information regarding of humans’ dark sides.
個人比較喜歡regarding of 啦...看夜君您接不接受嚕

06-22 12:44

Nil*夜*はじめ
>原句怪怪的,我稍微修改了一下,不知是否有扭曲您原本意思呢?
的確怪怪的,這樣清楚多了

>First of all, the more dark side children see, they become more disappointed to the world.
我想用the more......the more......的句型,不知羽君覺得如何?
06-30 02:49
Nil*夜*はじめ
>修改了一些東西...
謝謝~有更犀利些,我現在才發現自己的文法有錯

>Google dictionary 我覺得您cite Dictionary.com 應該會比較好...
啊!我應該打Google Dictionary,這樣Google就不會當動詞用
innocence 的定義的確是引用Google Dictionary的

>Our society gives us too much negative information regarding of humans’ dark sides.
>個人比較喜歡regarding of 啦...看夜君您接不接受嚕
謝謝建議,多了個參考06-30 03:02
蒼天的藍耀
It rarely teaches us how to stand up and overcome challenges given from destiny, especially television news broadcast in Taiwan.
如上 修改了一些

Where is the future for those teenagers who survived in civil wars in Africa...省略...Perhaps those kids cannot even have high education
如上


我覺得夜君您這篇文章的出發點還不錯,題目也蠻吸引人的,不過不可否認您的文章子lack of supports。我覺得您可以去找一些文章、名言、或者是新聞等等來增強一下您的argument。Google Scholar is a good place to search for academic articles.

最大的敗筆莫非就是結尾。太短、太弱、不流暢,整個就毀了前面的arguments...對於寫結尾,我只能說結尾是introduction的總結。順便可以在加上一些自己的想法(in Third-Person point of view),或者是您覺得這有什麼對未來的啟發啊之類的。Make something up for the readers to think about.

我不知道台灣容不容許第二人稱啦,畢竟國外這除非有必要,不然很少用第二人稱在"正式"(formal)文章...只是如果是我,我不會用第二人稱寫就是了,儘管題目是辯論。(總覺得我好像每次改的時候都會講耶)

06-22 12:44

Nil*夜*はじめ
>如上 修改了一些
嗯嗯,又是文法問題[e8]看來我這篇很不小心

>如上
OK!06-30 03:25
Nil*夜*はじめ
的確缺乏支持我論點的東西
一開始寫這篇文章沒有引用一些東西,因為這個想法才剛誕生,加上我站的點跟大眾派的相反,所以想找到支持我的東西,我想我得看更多書、累積更多經驗,這也證明我的經驗不足、看得不夠

結語一直是我最害怕的地方,感覺該講的東西我前面都講完了,可是總結不知要寫些什麼,或許我需要更多時間,理解羽君的建議

這次用第二人稱是刻意的,心裡有想到之前羽君的苦口婆心
我想若我能用字更精確、力道足,就可以不用第二人稱辯論06-30 03:36
兔二:滾你奶奶的
那夜君先把自己的意思翻成中文(找打)

畢竟快考試了,我英文需要充電@_@,途中實在太多思路斷層...
我並不是全部看得很連貫,很多主詞是根據自己猜測填上。

06-27 14:41

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