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歡迎來到夜谷-26 無臉老奶奶

作者：某個小傢伙│2021-01-09 00:21:22│巴幣：2│人氣：87

26-無臉老女人

Trumpet playing soft jazz from out of dark desert distance.

They comes tomorrow, it is too late for us.

喇叭們在遙遠的黑暗沙漠中演奏輕爵士

他們將在明天到來，而這對我們來說已經太遲了

Welcome to night vale.

歡迎來到夜谷

Did you know there’s a faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home?

It’s true.

你知道有一位無臉老婆婆偷偷的住在你家裡嗎？

這是真的

She’s there now. She’s always there.

Just out of your sight. Always out of your sight.

他現在就在那，他一直在那邊

就在你的視野外，總是在你的視線之外

Because you cannot see her, you’re completely unaware that this woman like to sift through photos of you and your loved ones.

因為你沒看過他，所以你總是沒意識到這位老婆婆喜歡檢視你跟你所愛之人的照片

She softly touched each face as if wishing it were her own, or perhaps claiming it as her own, or simply cursing that person.

他輕輕拂過每一個面孔就像希望這些臉孔是他的，或是聲稱這些臉孔是他的

或者單純的在詛咒那個人

It’s hard to say. You’ve never seen her doing this.

The faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home does a lot of things.

很難說，畢竟你從沒看見他做這件事

而那位偷偷住在你家的無臉老婆婆做了許多事

Ever wonder why your web browsers history is filled with been searching for quote“pictures of dead wolves" or quote“the melting point of birds”,

or why sometimes your shower drain get clothed with organ meats.

有沒有想過為什麼你的網頁瀏覽紀錄總是充滿著「死狼的照片」或是「鳥的熔點」

或者為什麼你浴室的排水孔總是被肉末給堵住

Or why sometimes you hear crying from behind the walls , or scratching at the front door.

Or you awaken to find long silver hair on the pillow next to you.

或是偶爾聽到牆後的哭聲、前門的爪聲

甚至是醒來時發現你旁邊的枕頭有著一絲銀白色的長髮

Or maybe you’ve never noticed any of those things.

You lived your life to this point completely oblivious to this old woman who has no face, and truthfully told.

又或者你從未注意到這些事情

你只在意你自己到這種地步，完全無視那位苦口婆心的無臉老婆婆

I think she’s probably harmless but maybe you shouldn’t sleep in your home anymore.

Just in case.

不過我想她不會傷害你，但也許你不該繼續睡在你家裡了

只是以防萬一

Ladies and gentlemen,

Dana has continued to send me text from beyond the tall, black fences of the dog park.

先生女士，我們的實習生Dana持續從小狗公園那高聳的黑護欄另一端傳訊息給我

Even though the dog park is forbidden to the citizens and their dogs.

Dana managed to get in and is now trap there for...who knows how long.

儘管市民及他們的狗狗被禁止進入小狗公園

Dana仍設法進入並且現在被困在那裡好幾...誰知道會持續多久呢

First of all, she says she’s okay.

She says she is met some nice people and she’s never bored.

She met the man in the tan jacket who is been haunting the city for the past few months.

首先呢，她說她目前還好，她遇到了一些友善的人並且不會感到無聊

她還遇到了穿著褐色夾克、在城市裡徘徊好幾個月的男子

In fact, Dana says the man in the tan jacket is quite nice and they really strike up quite a friendship.

事實上，Dana說那個褐色夾克的男子事實上很友善而他們成為了朋友

She’s still trying to figure out what the man's involvement it is with the hoodies figures and the recently disease, a patchy tracker and the tiny underground civilization of warmongers who live below lain five of the desert flower bowling alley and arcade fun complex

她也嘗試找出他與斗篷人士、近期的疾病、老舊的追蹤器以及住在沙漠之花電動及保齡球館底下的小小好戰帝國的關聯

He has seen to pop up in relation to a lot of strange events.

他貌似與很多奇怪的事件有很大的關聯性

She’s also trying to figure out what he looks like.

Every time she step away from that guy, she can’t remember thing about him.

Just that he’s wearing a tan jacket and carrying a deerskin briefcase.

她也試著理解他看起來長什麼樣子

每次他離開那個男子，她就想不起來有關那名男子的事情

只記得他穿著褐色夾克並拿著鹿皮公事包

“Oh, and that briefcase,” Dana says.

It’s kind of weird because it’s full of flies, and that’s kind of creepy, at first.

「喔，還有那個公事包」Dana說，

那個公事包有點奇怪因為他裡面滿滿的都是蒼蠅，起初那有些詭異

Until you realize that he’s a flies sells man and that they are all trained.

They can retreat mail and speak German and play dead and all kind of cute things.

直到你理解他是一位蒼蠅銷售員並且那些蒼蠅都受過專業訓練。

他們可以退郵、說德文、裝死跟一些可愛的動作

She says, he’s a pretty cool guy if you get to know him.

Dana說如果你認識他，他會是個很酷的人

Oh, and I almost forgot, Dana wonders if listener with good arm can get kind of cloth to the dog park and throw some beans or chips or beef jerky or something over the tall fence.

She’s very hungry.

喔，我差點忘了，Dana問有沒有手臂強壯的聽眾可以帶點衣物到小狗公園並將一些豆子、洋芋片或者牛肉乾丟過高高的圍欄

她非常的餓

In fact, it took me awhile to get through her typos,

listeners. She must be shaking really badly.

事實上，我花了一點時間才從他的錯字中理解他的意思，聽眾們，她肯定抖的非常厲害

And now a public service announcement from the greater night vale medical community.

這裡有一個來自夜谷醫療社群的公告

Are you feeling run down even after eight hours of sleep?

Are you having trouble breathing between the hours of two and four?

Are you gaining several extra pounds of weight only to lose those pounds suddenly and then gain them back all in five to six hour stretches of time?

你是否仍感到疲憊儘管你已經睡了八小時？

你是否在兩點到四點時感到呼吸困難？

你的體重是否在短時間內上下起伏？

Are you craving soil like all the time, rich dark soil that you just want cooling you tongue,filling your throat, your pharynx, your lungs, your belly?

Are you digging up the Earth in the early morning, screaming at the half form sun as if it would cordially leave returning you to the darkness you so richly deserved and psychologically demand?

你是否一直渴望土壤，渴望那些肥沃的黑土冷卻你的舌頭、填滿你的咽喉、你的肺及你的肚子？

你是否在清晨時挖掘地表或對著太陽尖叫就像太陽會親切的將你送回你應在且渴望的黑暗?

If you answer yes to all of those questions then you’re fine.

The program is working. All test has been successful and phase four is enigmatic.

This has been community health tips.

如果上述問題的答案是對，那你沒什麼大礙

程序正常作用，所有測試皆成功進行，而第四階段仍保持神秘

以上是這週的健康訣竅

More on the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. She has issued a statement to the media just now. Here is that statement.

更多有關那位住在你家的無臉老婆婆的消息，他發布了訊息給媒體，而以下是他所發佈的消息

“I’m confused. There’s no sense that you organize all the object in your fridge. I cannot determine any sense of order. What system you use to contain your vegetables, your cans, your jars, your food stains. There are stains, organic brown and pink smears tell a () history of your food. I like the yellowish one in the fridge because I thinks it’s the oldest. It has (de...graphy)

我很困惑，你在冰箱裡收納東西一點順序都沒有，我找不出任何順序，甚至你用哪種系統方法來收納你的蔬果、罐頭、瓶罐和污垢，冰箱上有不少污垢，自然的棕色污垢跟粉色污垢呈現了你那___的食物歷史，而我特別喜歡淡黃色且接近保鮮盒的那個，因為我覺得他存在最久，他甚至已經...

would you like these bugs you have in your home?

I like some of them.

你喜歡那些我放進家裡的小蟲子嗎?

我喜歡一部分的蟲蟲

I also change your sheets. You do not change your sheets enough.

I don’t you are unsanitary but I think you would feel better if change your sheets from time to time.

我還幫你換了床單，你對於換床單這件事不夠勤勞

不過我不是在說你是個不衛生的人，我只是覺得你常換床單的話你會過得更舒服一些

And time is weird because it doesn’t exist for me in the same way.

So your sheets is already covered with your bones and hairs and blood, but not yet, not really yet.

不過時間對我來說是個很奇異的存在，因為他對我似乎有不一樣的作用

所以你的床單早已被你的骨頭、毛髮以及血液所覆蓋，只是還不是現在

還沒到那個時候

I wish you can see me just cleaning and reorganizing making sense of nonsense plant and muscle in your fridge, but you never look.

If you just glance left or right every so often, you’ll see me.

我希望你能注意到我清潔或重新排列你冰箱內的蔬果跟肉品，但你從未發現

只要你偶爾看向你的左右，你就會看到我

I’m right next you, right now. I lived in the mirror.

But you just stare yourself, staring only accurate over right potato with your face.

I’m there in every mirror if you could just look for me in the background behind you.

Also, what’s your wi-fi password?

我就在你身旁，現在，我在鏡子裡

但你只是死死的盯著你的臉，你那呆版的臉

我在每一面鏡子裡，只要你看看鏡子裡你背後的背景你就能看見我

喔對了，你家的wi-fi密碼是多少?

So that’s the old woman special announcement.

以上就是那位老婆婆的特殊聲明

I have no idea how we received that recording,

who recorded it or how an old woman with no face and , by extension, no mouth could speak so clearly.

我還在思考為什麼我們可以接收到這段錄音，還有是誰錄了這段錄音，甚至為什麼一個沒有臉，因此沒有嘴巴的老婆婆可以發音如此清晰

But it was very informative.

Maybe you should try paying more attention when you’re at home or better yet destroy all of your mirror.

但這給了我們很多資訊

也許你在家時該多注意這些事，或是該摧毀你所有的鏡子

As my mother used to tell me

“ someone’s going to kill you one day, Cecil, and it will involve a mirror. Mark by word,child.” And then she would stare absently through my eyes until I giggled.

Ah, I missed her so much.

就像我家母所述

「總有一天會有一個人來取走你的性命，Cecil，他將用鏡子奪走你的生命，記住我的話，孩子」

接著他會無神的盯著我直到我開始ㄎㄎ笑

喔天啊，我真懷念我母親

Listeners, a lot of you have written in asking for photos of Khoshack, the station cat, and to learn what became he’s litter of kitten.

Station management did not let us keep the kittens, but they have been given away to good homes.

聽眾們，許多人致信表示他們想看看電台貓貓Khoshack的照片，並想理解他生的小貓們已經長得如何了

但是電台管理處不允許我們繼續飼養那些小貓，並且他們已經找到適合他們成長的家庭了

Unfortunately, like Khoshack, the cats are also stuck floating in fixed point in space.

So their owner have to visit them right where they were born, right here in the station bathroom.

不幸的，就像Khoshack，那些小貓也被困在半空中

所以牠們的主人必須前來牠們出生的地方，電台的浴室來拜訪牠們

Khoshack hover about four feet in the air, but some of those the little ones are as high as nine.

It’s sad that we can’t keep the kittens for ourselves, but it would be nice to see them every time we take a restroom break at work.

Khoshack浮空約四吋高，而某些小貓則浮空在高達九吋的地方

儘管不能繼續奉養這些小貓事件傷心的事，但能在工作偷閒之時看到這些小貓仍是件開心的事

I wish I have some photos to share with you, but at last, radio is not a visual media.

Also, the last three staff member that took photos not only found that Khoshack does not show up in pictures but those staff member also died pretty agonizing death the week following.

So we were afraiding from even describing what he looks like.

我真希望我可以跟你們分享一些照片，但是你們知道的，廣播不是視覺媒體

加上前三個拍Khoshack照片的人發現Khoshack不在照片內，

除此之外，牠們相繼被發現死相痛苦的死去

所以我們甚至不敢描述Khoshack的外觀

Oh, but I did make a quick recording of a “meow” Khoshack makes when it is time to eat.

*some cute noise made by an adorable kitty

Like I said, I am not a cat person, but Khoshack has bound a truly special place in my heart.

喔，不過我有偷偷錄到Khoshack用餐前所發出的喵喵聲，讓我放給你們聽

*一些由Khoshack所發出的可愛貓貓噪音

如同我之前所說，我不是貓派人士，但我想Khoshack已經在我心裡佔一席之地了

I’m getting word that the authorities are surrounding your home.

These authorities are secret agents from a vague yet menacing government agency.

You are probably looking out your window now to see these agents but they are highly covert.

我收到一個小道消息說你家已經被包圍了

那些包圍你家的人來自模糊而脅迫的政府機構，並且是牠們的秘密特務

你可以藉由窗戶看出去，但他們非常隱密

You cannot see them even if you look hard.

These specially trained men and women can expertly disguise themselves as trees and doors and birds and feral cats and wind gusts.

儘管你看得非常仔細，你也找不到他們

他們受過專業訓練並且可以偽裝成樹、門、鳥甚至是一陣風

A group of them have even disguise themselves as one item of furniture in your home.

I am not at liberty to even speculate which one but you probably looking at it right now.

甚至有他們一部分已經進入家並偽裝成一件家具了

我甚至不能推測是哪一個但你很可能正看向其中一個

The vague yet menacing government agency seems upset that the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home has been alerting you and the media to her present.

那個模糊但脅迫的政府組織好像是因為那位偷偷住在你家的無臉老婆婆警告你跟媒體它的存在而激怒

I mean we all knew she was there.

Who doesn’t know about the faceless old woman that hide in all of our homes?

It’s not to similar to know that Santa claus isn’t actually real.

Everyone except young children, of course, knows Santa it is a huge population of heavily sedated and costume bears that the CIA left loose across the country every Christmas eve.

是說，我們都知道她就在那裏，誰會不知道我們的家裡有位無臉老婆婆?

這就像我們都知道聖誕老公公不存在

除了小孩子們，我們都知道聖誕老公公只是一群CIA每年聖誕液會放出來的鎮定且裝扮的熊

And like the Santa claus myth, it’s important we keep up the image that we all don’t know the truth.

Like” let’s all pretend Santa is a gift-giving old man and not a drugged up government bear," and in the same thing, there’s no faceless old woman hiding in your home, anyway.

就像聖誕迷思一樣，裝做我們不知道真相是很重要的

像是「讓我們假裝聖誕老人是個會給禮物的老人而不是一個濫用藥物的政府熊熊吧」

所以相同的，在你家可沒有無臉老婆婆，隨便啦

The agents are approaching on your home now and prepare to use deadly force.

I’d like to tell you that you need to run.

To get out of there now. To save yourself.

But it is too late. Every entrance and exit is barricaded.

那些特務正在接近你家並準備使用致命的武器

我想告訴你你要趕快跑走

現在逃離那裏，救救你自己

但已經太遲了，所有的出入口都已經被擋住了

I am afraid you are doomed.

Unfortunately, the faceless old woman must know something.

She must know secrets, some very important bits that the vague yet menacing government agency hold, dear.

我很擔心你已經完蛋了

不幸的是，無臉老婆婆一定知道些什麼

她知道秘密，一些政府組織所持有的重要秘密

And those secrets are probably about you.

Perhaps she’s planning to reveal your purpose here.

Perhaps you two are connected all be a unwittingly to the vague yet menacing government agency.

And this information cannot, must not, be shared.

You are a walking top secret document.

And now on the verge of this revelation. You must be destroyed.

而那些秘密很可能跟你有關，也許她正計畫洩漏你的用意

也許你們兩個不知不覺的被政府組織連接在一起

而那些資訊不能，絕對不能，被公開

你就像會移動的最高機密，而在將被揭開之際，你將被摧毀殆盡

On the plus side, you had a purpose, and that is more than most of us can say, you will be missed. So for your last moment though surely not ours. I’ll give you the weather.

不過看開一點，你有點用處，而那個用處我們大部分都不能說

你會消失，所以在你的最後一刻，讓我為你帶來

天氣預報

”Long gone” by Mary Epworth

The faceless old woman secretly living in your home wants to apologize to you.

She has issued another statement.

那位偷偷住在你家的無臉老婆婆想要跟你說聲抱歉

所以她發了另外一份聲明

“I’m sorry, mostly I just want to figure out how to get online.

I reset the wireless router and that help but you use chrome and you never clear your catch history and it was so slow.

I downloaded a fire fox for you and that seems be working much better.

「我很抱歉，大部分時候我只是想知道我該如何上網

我重開了路由器而那蠻有用的，但是你用chrorm的時候都不清除你的瀏覽紀錄而那讓網頁跑得很慢

我為你載了火狐瀏覽器，而那應該會跑得快一些

I’ve heard the mayor retiring and I want to know if mayoral candidate are required to have face.

I have some good ideas I think it would help this town.

Like one thing I think is we can increase school funding while still lowering taxes.

我聽說市長正準備退休，而我很好奇臉是不是身為市長候選人所必備的條件之一

我有一些可以幫助這個城鎮的好點子

像是我們可以增加學校的資金並同時減少稅收

It’s an innovative plan and I’m gonna build the website that explain it and other great idea I have that can help this town.

I’m very excited to announce my candidacy for night vale mayor.

這是一個創新的計畫，而我將會建設一個網站來說明我那些可以幫助夜谷的點子

對於我宣布我的參選使我非常非常興奮

Also I leave your fridge on fire. It was upsetting me.

Now, I’m smoking cigarettes and notating your copy in furniture."

對了，你的冰箱失火了，我放的，因為她惹火我了

現在，我正抽著菸並正在複製你的家具」

She didn’t leave a name or a website URL.

And I’m not sure how she can read website or books at all without a face, and by extension, eyes.

她沒有留下她的名字或是網址

而我不確定她怎麼在沒有臉，也就是沒有眼睛的狀況下看書跟看網頁

We also received word that the covert agents from the vague yet menacing government agency have retreated, and have obviously not use deadly force as you are still alive, regardless of how dead you feel inside.

我們也收到另一個消息，來自政府機關的隱密探員已經撤退了，而他們很明顯的還沒使用致命武器，因為你還活著，不論你的內心死了幾千次

They did however release several thousand spider into your home.

Fortunately for you, like the faceless old woman, you’ll be unable to see these spiders unless you looks closely.

不過他們釋放了上千隻的蜘蛛進入你家

幸運的是，他們就像無臉老婆婆一樣，你不會看見他們除非你靠的很近

They are highly trained spiders, moving just outside of your periphery.

But and it is also just like the faceless old woman from time to time you will feel them brushing against your soft cheeks and lips as you sleep.

但他們是專業受訓的蜘蛛，他們總能剛好躲開你的視野範圍

但就跟無臉老婆婆一樣，在你入睡時你偶爾會感受到他們輕撫過你的臉頰或是嘴唇

So keep your eyes open. Listener, let us all keep our eyes open.

It’s not always easy knowing who and what wants to be seen.

But when you look around you, pay attention to those fuzzy and dark corners.