創作內容

5 GP

The BRO code(31-40)

作者:非等閒之輩│2012-09-10 12:19:08│巴幣:10│人氣:311
Article 31
When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.
把妹就算沒希望也還是先從最正的下手,誰知道哪天會不會天降鴻福呢。

Article 32 :
A Bro doesn't allow another Bro to get married until he's at least thirty.
除非麻吉步入而立之年,否則做麻吉的的要阻止他步入婚姻的墳墓。

Article 33 :
When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball... rebounding is optional.
在公共廁所時,麻吉(1)在撒尿的時候,眼睛要直視前方;(2)如果發現有多於兩人在等著撒尿,必須得戲謔說:“是男人就痛快點,這又不是女廁所。”;而且(3)要試著把自己用過的衛生紙像投籃那樣扔進垃圾桶…當然,沒投進還有籃板。


Article 34 :
Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's threeway.
在玩二王一後時,麻吉兩人絕不能有任何眼神接觸。

Article 35 :
A Bro never rents a chick flick.
永不租愛情文藝片。

Article 36 DD:
When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.
36D】:當被身旁的女人審問對假胸的態度時,兄弟要永遠表現出不屑一顧的態度。
When in conversation with a woman, fake breasts may arise, but not in the way that you'd like. It's not uncommon for a woman to deftly use trick questions in order to probe a Bro's real thoughts on the subject of breast augmentation*. And don't be fooled into thinking your prepared speech on the beauty of the natural human form can get you out of it.
跟女人聊天的時候,可能會提到假胸的話題,但不會是以你喜歡的方式被提及。女人常常拐彎抹角地打探男人對隆胸這個問題的真實想法。千萬不要妄想你那番“自然就是美”的理論能拯救你於水深火熱中。
*Bigger=Better
*越大=越好

HOW TO HANDLE FAKE BREASTS
如何處理這種話題

Wrong Answer
Chick: Ugh, her breasts are so fake.
Bro: Totally. Unnatural is unsexy.
Chick: So you've been staring at her breasts, huh?
錯誤版本
小妞:她的胸看著真假。
兄弟:就是,假的東西毫無性感可言。
小妞:原來你真的在盯著她的胸看啊?
你就是在盯著她的胸看,對不對?

Wrong Answer
Chick: Ugh, her breasts are so fake.
Bro: Whose?
Chick: You know who I'm talking about.
Bro: Oh. Yes, those must be fake.
Chick: So you've been staring at her breasts, huh?
錯誤版本
小妞:她的胸看著真假。
兄弟:誰?
小妞:你知道我在說誰。
兄弟:對,肯定是假的。
小妞:你就是在盯著她的胸看,對不對?

Wrong Answer
Chick: Ugh, her breasts are so fake.
Bro: No?
Chick: Well then, why don't you go marry her, then???
錯誤版本
小妞:她的胸看著真假。
兄弟:不是吧?
小妞:你要覺得是真奶,你怎不娶她呢?

Correct Answer
Chick: Ugh, her breasts are so fake.
Bro: I Wouldn't know.
Chick: Oh. Well they are.
正解
小妞:她的胸看著真假。
兄弟:我怎麼可能知道。
小妞:姐告訴你吧,就是假的。


Article 37 :
A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If a women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly, they're not that heavy.
完全沒有義務為任何人開門。如果女人堅持要有女子職業籃球隊,那她們就有完全有能力自己開門。老實說,門又不重。

Article 38 :
Even in a fight to the death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
就算是決一死戰,麻吉之間從不攻擊“要害”。

Article 39 :
When a Bro gets a chick's number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her.

當拿到女人的電話後,至少要等上96個小時才能打給她。
SIDE-BRO: ASK UNCLE BARNEY
巴尼叔叔問答時間

Q: I'm confused——if a woman give me her phone number, doesn't that mean she wants me to call her? Why do I h​​ave to wait so long?
問:我不懂。如果一個女人給你她的電話號碼,不就是想你打給她嗎?為什麼非要等這麼久?


A: Broflation——An unreasonable increase in female expectations about how Bros should act. You call a woman the next day, she tells her friends that you called the next day and soon enough, women everywhere will expect guys to call them the next day . Before you know it, Bros the world over will find themselves trapped in relationships and all because you couldn't wait ninety-six little hours.

答:期望膨脹——女性對男人該如何採取行動的期望值過分升高。第二天就打給一個女人,她就會告訴她的朋友們你第二天就打來了,很快,全世界的女人就會期望男人在要到電話後的第二天就​​打給她們。轉眼間,全世界的兄弟會因為你不能等過這短短的96個小時,而被困在一段感情中動彈不得。

Q: Okay, I've waited ninety-six hours. When's the b
est time of day to call?

問:好吧,我已經等了96個小時。那什麼時候打給她最好呢?

A: Call during the middle of the day. ​​You'll have a better chance of catching her voice mail, which ultimately means less conversation. With any luck you'll be able to set something up without ever having to talk to her. Note : Never call after 9 PM——late-night phone calls are the province of the booty call, and only the booty call. See Article 92 for further elaboration.

答:中午的時候打。這時你被轉入她的語音信箱的可能性會更大些,同時也意味著減少不必要的談話。走運的話,你甚至都不需要跟她對話,就能直接安排好約會。注意:千萬不要在晚上9點之後打——這麼晚才給她打電話,是你想找她打快炮的最好證明,而且深夜電話通常就是為了打快炮。詳情請參考法則第92條。

Q: I've always heard you wait three days? Why does the Bro Code specify four?

問:你之前的說法不是等三天就夠了嗎?為什麼《兄弟法則》裡面又明確說明要等上四天?

A: If you've always heard that a Bro should wait three days before calling, you can bet that women have, too. By waiting an extra day, you can make a chick feel special.

答:如果“等三天后再打”這個理論你常聽說,那女人肯定也聽過。多等一天,可以讓她覺得自己與眾不同。

Article 40 :
Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party."

如果麻吉被婚約折磨得苦不堪言,他的麻吉應該舉行一次勸說大會,然後試圖治​​愈他受傷的心靈。通常就是所謂的“婚前單身派對”。


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留言共 3 篇留言

Mr.三月兔
進來看到第一條就給GP了!

09-10 19:21

非等閒之輩
其實這篇,部分文字隱藏了!09-10 19:48
小步步
第一條真的很重要......

09-16 23:34

永遠的謎
糟糕

跟女生交換電話我都馬上打耶=口=

01-03 14:54

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