The BRO code(1-10)

兄弟法則草案：起源於西元1776年


1776年，與獨立宣言一同簽署

                                                 Article 1

                                                           Bro's before ho's

                                                      麻吉同手足，女人如衣服。

The bond between two men is stronger than the bond between a man and a woman because, on average, men are stronger than women. That's just science.

男男關係比男女關係更可靠、更強有力。因為一般而言，男性比女性力氣大。這就是科學。




                                     Article 2

A bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it
                        一名兄弟永遠有權利做傻事，只要他的兄弟們陪他一起做

NOTE: If only one Spanish dude had decided to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, people would've been like, “Dude, come on.” If only Tommy Lee had worn eyeliner in the early days of Mötley Crüe, People would have been like, “lady, come on.” The license to be stupid is why we have Bros in the first place.

註1：如果只有一個西班牙人在一堆憤怒的公牛前跑，人們會覺得他是個白痴，但如果有一堆人在牛面前跑就是節日(奔牛節)

註2：如果在搖滾樂隊摩特利·克魯(Mötley Crüe)的初期時，只有湯米·李一人畫眼線，人們會覺得他很娘，但如果一整個樂隊的人都畫眼線，那就是視覺系。兄弟存在的首要原因就是為了以後你可以肆無忌憚地做傻事。


                                                           Article 3：刪除

                                                            Article 4

A Bro never divulges the existance of The Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred doucment not to be shared with chicks for any reason... no, not even that reason.

麻吉決不能將《兄弟法則》的內容洩露給女人。這是一部神聖的文獻，決不能以任何理由和女人分享。就算為了“性”福也不行。


Note:If you are a woman reading this, first, let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math.

註：如果你是個女生，首先允許我道歉：我不是故意讓書理充滿複雜的數學內容的。


Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is- a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we're from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within. *Those boots are adorable, bt-dub.

註2：我強烈希望你看到這本書的本質：都是虛構的、旨在用老套的兩性差異來娛樂大眾的小說。我的意思是，有時候我們真的像是來自不同星球來的人！當然，沒人會真的相信或擁護這些低俗的小把戲。 順帶一提，你的鞋子可愛極了！






*Psst – hey guys! I put this in really small type at the bottom since we all know men have much better vision than women. Ignore the above – the Bro Code is definitely not a piece of fiction. I was simply lying to uphold this very article.

噓——大伙們！我把這段話用很小的字體印在最下面，因為我們都知道男性的視力比女性好得多。別管上面的屁話——《兄弟法則》絕對不是什麼"低俗的小把戲” 。我只是為了保護本文而撒謊而已。PS：書裡面真低很小




                                        Article 5

                              Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.
                                      無論是否喜歡體育，只要是麻吉就得是個體育迷



                                        Article 6

           A Bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other Bros in a gym locker room

                       在健身房的更衣室裡不得不脫光光的時候，麻吉要快速更衣，不要磨磨蹭蹭

COROLLARY:If a bro gets naked in a locker room, all other Bros shall pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening while, at the same time, immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage: "If a towel drops to the floor, so should your eyes".

結論：如果有個哥們在更衣室裡正面全裸，其他哥們應假裝沒發生任何不正常的事情，與此同時立刻迴避眼神接觸。如有疑問，記住一句老話：〝非禮勿視〞





     麻吉之間的感情，都能通過電子郵件清晰的表達出來，這樣既便捷同時能保持感情上的距離


如下圖示範：
                                                                 
註：1.慰問卡 2.祝賀卡


註：1.Get well soon(祝麻吉身體好起來)：別放棄阿！！
       2. 生日快樂：嘿，酒錢算我的
       3.應該不用翻了吧！


                                                               Article 9

Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as "Gimme three!" or "Wow, quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball." It's still a high five and that Bro still has a lot of balls... metaphorically speaking, of course.

如果有麻吉因意外或是疾病而失去身體的某部分，作為他的麻吉絕對不可以開太過分的玩笑，例如：做出〝鄙視〞的手勢或不會吧，辭掉你的工作的確需要很大勇氣啊。”麻吉就算少了幾根手指，但還是能擊掌；就算蛋蛋沒了，也還是一個鐵錚錚的漢子。當然，這只是舉個例子而已。 [Ball在此句中為雙關，既有勇氣的意思，亦有睾丸的意思。

                                                                   

It's normal for a Bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he's worried she'll become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to have sex with her friends. This is when a Bro most needs his Bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean, and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful, or even time-consuming.

麻吉甩馬子的時候，常在〝猶豫〞的同時，失去判斷力。因為怕自己老實的告訴她想上她朋友後，她會發瘋抓狂。這種時候，就需要其他兄弟來點醒他，不要為了一棵樹而放棄整片森林，分手直接甩了就好，不需要這麼傷神傷身傷時間。



                                               六句箴言：講完鐵定分手！！

Maybe try a side salad instead.” “胖子，該多吃沙拉”
“Cute! You're growing a mustache, too!” “你的鬍子真可愛”
“She looks like a younger you.” “她是你的嫩版〞
“I will finance a boob job.” “去隆乳，我付錢！”
“Sorry I threw out your shoes.” “你鞋子我扔了。”
“Your sister let me do that.” “你姊妹叫我上她。”