各位懂的，就是那個
吳宗憲:動作快阿，新隊長隨時會來
Hurry up! The new officer will be here any moment.
吳宗憲:你們還在那裏混啊，慢吞吞的
吳宗憲:你們還在那裏混啊，慢吞吞的
What are you guys doing? Hurry the hell up!
吳宗憲:我看你們是不到黃河心不死，不見棺材不掉淚啊?你還在睡阿?
Do you guys underestimate the new officer's ability? You still sleeping what the hell?
吳宗憲:我告訴你們，新隊長的外號你們大概還不知道，我再次鄭重跟你們宣布
Let me tell you guys once again.
吳宗憲:他就是辣手摧花，喪心病狂，無恥卑鄙，變態殺人魔!
He is like a man without sympathy! A freaking killer!
吳宗憲:欸欸欸欸欸，來了來了!快點!動作快!
God! Here he comes! Hustle!
衛兵:長官好!
衛兵:長官好!
Sir! Greetings! Sir!
吳宗憲:部隊通通有!立正!
Attention!
吳宗憲:值星官下士班長吳聰憲報到!
Sir! Duty officer reporting, sir!
吳宗憲:應到人數30名，除一名幫廚之外，實到人數29名，報告完畢!恭請訓話!
Except 1 in kitchen, there are 30 in total! over! Sir!
亂入角:軍愛民，民敬軍，這句口號我一直都有聽說，沒想到在部隊裡執行得這麼徹底
We all have heard that soldier and civilian should respect each other, I have never thought that it can run so well.
亂入角:讓我非常的感動
It touches me.
亂入角:拍謝，廁所借一下
Sorry, could I use the restroom?
吳宗憲:蛤?你是來借廁所的啊?
What? You are here for the restroom?
亂入角:不好意思
Actually...yes.
吳宗憲:稍息!
At ease!
吳宗憲:軍隊的棉被是用來褶的，不是用來蓋的，你知道嗎?
The quilt in the army are meant to be folded, not to be used. You feel me?
吳宗憲:軍隊的廁所是用來洗的不是用來拉的，你知道嗎?
The restroom in the army are meant to be cleaned, not to be used. You feel me?
吳宗憲:搞不清楚啊你?你給我滾!神經病阿你?
What's your problem? Piss off!
兵:恭請訓話!拍謝，廁所借一下，哈哈哈
Ha! Could I use the restroom he said.
吳宗憲:哈哈!混帳東西!你皮在癢阿?
Ha! You bastard! How dare?
吳宗憲:我出你們收心操!棉被操!莒光操!我操死你!
Let's have so many drills it will burn you out!
吳宗憲:我操你祖宗八代!我操死你全家!
Fuck you! I fuck your whole fucking family!
許效舜:亂棄八糟!
What the hell?
吳宗憲:請問你是?
Who is this?
兵:又來借廁所的喔?
Maybe for restroom, again?
許效舜:混蛋!白痴阿!混吃等死阿?每天在幹什麼事情啊?
You fucking idiot what the hell are you guys doing all day long?
許效舜:我操!我操死你們全家!我死操你祖宗八代!
Fuck you! I fuck your whole fucking family!
許效舜:什麼棉被啊?人家是西點軍校，你是西點麵包阿?
What the hell it this? West point academy? Or western bread?
許效舜:沒吃飽是不是阿?爛透了!
You guys sucks!
許效舜:為什麼不把它塗點果醬就把它吃掉阿!
You guys should put jam on it and take a bite!
許效舜:這是什麼東西啊?蛋捲阿?
What the hell it this? Egg rolls?
許效舜:軍心散亂!什麼東西啊?誰是值星官?
What the hell are you guys doing? Who is duty officer?
吳宗憲:有!
Sir! It's me! Sir!
許效舜:我就知道是你!又是你!你最爛!
You? You again? You are the worst!
許效舜:你這個獐頭鼠目，尖嘴猴腮，頭上長瘡，腳底流膿，你是爛透了!
You ugly motherfucker can suck my dick!
吳宗憲:是!長官
Sir! Yes sir!
許效舜:幹嘛?你現在用這種眼神看我，你是愛我?還是恨我?
What? Why are you looking at me in that way? You love me? Or you hate me?
吳宗憲:愛你，愛你
Sir! I love you! Sir!
許效舜:再說一遍，大聲一點，我聽不到
Say again! Louder! I can't hear you!
吳宗憲:我愛你
Sir! I love you! Sir!
許效舜:再大聲一點!
Louder!
吳宗憲:我愛你!!!!!!!!!!
Sir! I love you! Sir!
許效舜:果然不出我所料!我這輩子最恨的就是這種娘娘腔，同性戀
Oh! Sure enough! What I hate the most is a homo like you!
許效舜:現在抱著你的卵蛋!交互蹲跳一百下!
Hold your balls, give me 100 jumping lunge! Now!
許效舜:跳快一點!抱緊一點!
Hurry up! Hold it tight!
許效舜:幹嘛!你這樣看我，你是愛我還是恨我?
What? Looking at me in that way? You love me? Or you hate me?
兵:報告長官!我恨你!
Sir! I hate you! Sir!
許效舜:齁齁!你要暴行犯上是不是?
Oh! Are you trying to combat your own officer?
許效舜:好!沒有關係!我要讓你嘗一嘗恨我的滋味!
Sure! That was totally fine! You are going to have a taste of that!
兵:殺....
Charge!
許效舜:快!快點快跑!臥倒趴好!
Run! Faster! Get down!
許效舜:你恨我?你爸是龜公!你媽媽是老鴇!你這種face沒有資格當午夜牛郎!我呸!
You hate me? Your parents are nothing but the owner of a whore house! And you are so fucked up you can't even continue their job! Fuck you!
許效舜:衝鋒前進!衝啊!
Forward! Charge!
許效舜:大聲一點!快!跳高一點!你還混?
Louder! Jump higher! What are you doing?
許效舜:大聲一點!我聽不到你的聲音!
Louder! I can not hear you!
許效舜:不要摸魚!大聲一點!跳高!
Don't be lazy! Louder! Jump higher!
許效舜:你在我後面混!你不知道我後面有長眼睛嗎?
What the hell are you doing on my back? Don't you know I can feel what you are doing?
吳宗憲:長官?是屁眼嗎?
Sir? Use your asshole? Sir?
許效舜:混帳!
Shut the fuck up!
長官，我不行了
Sir, I can't do it anymore. Sir
吳宗憲:我跟你講，如果我死後，麻煩將我的骨灰葬在黃花崗上
If I die, I need you to put my ash in The Field of Honour. Sir.
許效舜:混帳!我看我把你的骨灰倒在妓女戶的痰盂裡，你看怎麼樣!
Oh really? How about I put your ash in a whore house! Myself! Personally!
吳宗憲:長官!我不能死阿!
Sir! I don't want to die. Sir.
吳宗憲:棉被棉被我愛你!
Quilt I love you.
許效舜:閉嘴!還動阿!
Shut up! Stop!
許效舜:我已經受不了你們這群人渣敗類!
I've had enough of you freaking assholes.
許效舜:稍息之後!頭戴臉盆!嘴咬襪子!左腳不穿鞋!右腳不穿襪!帶槍穿內褲!30秒鐘連集合場集合!稍息!
Now wear the bucket on your head, put your sock in mouth, no shoe on left foot, no sock on right foot, bring your gun, wearing your underwear, gear up in 30 seconds! Move!
(開始亂數)
(Random Counting)
(救護車出現)
(Ambulance Approaches)
許效舜:動作快點!三分鐘!200秒!100秒!30秒!50秒!時間到!不要!
Hustle! (Random Counting) Time's up! No! Stop!
許效舜:向右看齊!向前看!
Eyes right! Eyes front!
許效舜:不要!不要!你們不要!不要抓我!
No! Stop this! Leave me alone!
許效舜:值星官為什麼不集合!
Where the hell is duty officer?
護理人員:拍謝啦!我們這個三不五時就會跑出來，拍謝啦!
Sorry, this guys escapes every once in a while.
護理人員:這個當兵當到發瘋了
This guys went nuts while in the army.
許效舜:稍息後反攻大陸!稍息!
We are storming Mainland China this this one! Charge!
-----結束-----
呼!第一次翻譯這麼多!
其實有些還蠻難翻的，我就比較偏翻意思而不是逐字翻，或是乾脆換句話講
這樣就差不多的，歡迎各種建議，讓我更好
